We’ve all heard and probably been given the advice to “Fake it till you make it.” First suggested by psychotherapist Alfred Adler in the 1920s with his “act as if” strategy for clients, the exact wording was later made famous by Simon & Garfunkel in their 1968 single release titled “Fakin’ It.” For most of us “fakin’ it” means we don’t show anger, hurt, or in any way rock the boat. And, let’s be honest, sometimes this type of emotional control is part of being an adult. However, when those “adulting” moments turn into a lifestyle, when your outer behavior constantly contradicts your inner experience, your body feels it. Over time, that can become a real problem.

Your Nervous System Knows

We all have the capacity to fake it. But we cannot override our physiology.

We know that when we feel anger, fear, or really any type of negative emotion, our “fight or flight” system kicks in. The heart rate increases, as does blood pressure. Muscles tighten and stress hormones are released. It’s all supposed to work that way to protect us and help us respond appropriately to real life challenges.

The problem is when that “fight or flight” is triggered in the body but never processed. Saying “I’m fine” when you’re not doesn’t shut things down. Suppressing feelings or saying you agree when you don’t won’t alter your body’s response. And when that happens day after day, year after year, the body adapts to that stress state.

Chronic Incongruence

Our bodies were designed to thrive on the alignment between perception, response, and recovery, or congruence. So, when we have a negative experience and respond honestly and appropriately, our nervous system activates, then returns to baseline. That’s resilience.

When we are constantly overriding our authentic response to situations we are creating incongruence in our bodies. Our brain experiences stress, our nervous system kicks in, but we smile and say everything is fine. Over time, our body experiences:

• Persistent muscle tension (especially in the neck and shoulders)
• Digestive disruption
• Sleep disturbance
• Hormonal imbalance
• Elevated inflammation
• Reduced heart rate variability (a key marker of adaptability)

Even the smallest of stress responses, when done on repeat, don’t give the nervous system a chance to restore. That background stress, if sustained, eventually erodes adaptability.  Unfortunately, it’s adaptability that determines how well you age.

The Cost 

Anger raises your blood pressure. Get anxious and you’ll find yourself breathing more quickly or possibly having trouble breathing at all. Chronically sad? Watch your posture because you are probably slouching.

If you live your life consistently suppressing your true emotions, you’ve probably got tight shoulders, chronic headaches, clenched jaws, shallow breathing, or are just really tired all the time for no apparent reason.

Health is not the absence of symptoms. Health is the ability of your nervous system to adapt efficiently to life’s demands. Suppression, on the other hand, is not adaptation. Suppression is prolonged activation.

Regulation vs. Suppression

Just one important point of distinction here. Self-control is not a weakness. None of us can (or should) go through life emotionally dumping whenever we’re not overjoyed with something. There is such a thing as pausing, reflecting, and choosing our response. Doing that is called regulation and it acknowledges that when you feel something you can decide how and when to express it.

That’s a different animal from suppression. Suppression is when you tell yourself you aren’t feeling what you’re feeling. Or worse, that you’re not allowed to feel what you’re feeling.

Regulation is about building resilience. Suppression is about building up tension. The difference is important.

The Drain of Pretending

With all due respect to Dr. Adler, when your internal experience and external behavior are constantly misaligned, your body and particularly your nervous system need to work overtime, using your mental bandwidth and physiological reserve to just get through the day.

All that extra effort is taking up energy that could be used for:

• Recovery
• Tissue repair
• Immune function
• Cognitive clarity
• Deep sleep

Instead, it’s spent maintaining a version of yourself that doesn’t fully match reality. And the more chronic the performance, the more expensive it becomes biologically.

You Can’t Fake Your Way to 100 Healthy Years

In order to live at 100% every day of a long and healthy life, your nervous system must be flexible, and your body must recover fully and consistently.

A life built on chronic emotional inhibition keeps your system in low-grade stress mode. And low-grade stress, sustained for decades, accelerates wear and tear.

Alignment Is Longevity

The 100 Year Lifestyle® is about living in alignment, and that’s structurally, neurologically, and behaviorally.

Start by making sure your spine moves well which means your nervous system communicates clearly. When your nervous system adapts efficiently, your body recovers better.

Then, having an internal world and external life that are more aligned means stress resolves instead of accumulating. Ask yourself:

• Where in my life am I repeatedly overriding what I truly feel?
• Is my body carrying tension that my words never release?
• Am I adapting to stress or just storing it?

If you don’t like your answers, start making small changes. Remember, you can’t fake your way to vitality.

Speaking of choosing alignment and living not just longer but stronger for 100 years and beyond, there’s a 100 Year Lifestyle provider near you who’s ready to help you on your healthy longevity journey. Make the call today!

 

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